How to Ruin a Dress, Among Other Things
by Angel-Chan
Summary: Who wants to go to a fancy party when you can just go to the bar? -AKA Toph and Sokka drunken shenanigans.-


_A/N: I felt like writing a silly 'Toph and Sokka get drunk and do dumb things' fic. It's probably rather generic, but oh well! I had a lot of fun writing it; these two play off each other so well. I hope you enjoy it!_

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**How to Ruin a Dress (Among Other Things)**

Toph didn't need eyes to know that she looked stupid; Sokka's (pathetically) suppressed laughter detailed it out quite nicely.

"Frills?" she asked.

"More than you know." And he let out a snort-chuckle combination that left the earthbender raising an eyebrow in annoyance.

She groaned and fell back on her bed. "_Why _am I doing this again?"

"Because Katara begged? And promised a lot of cake?"

"Rhetorical question, Sokka," she hissed, kicking her feet out.

"…I knew that." A moment of silence went by; Toph took the time to pick at a scab on her elbow. The warrior snapped his fingers, complete with an "a-ha!" of realization, and suggested: "We could always go mess with the formals. We haven't done that in a while."

"I don't feel like chatting with the Mings and Zhans today," she muttered as she rolled lazily onto her stomach. She didn't feel like hiding out in her room all day, either. "I just want some entertainment…."

"Well, I think they've got some kind of band--"

Sitting up suddenly, she announced, "We should go to the tavern!"

Sokka mulled the thought over for a moment, shifting from foot to foot. "I don't know," he said. "When we went last weekend, we ended up paying for a lot of broken wares--and I don't even remember busting anything up that time. Besides, we have things to do here."

A Bei Fong and money were well acquainted, so what did it matter? Toph waved a hand nonchalantly at him, dismissing his weariness entirely. "We have, what--an hour still? It's not like there's anything to do until then, anyway. It'll be my treat, how's that?"

He seemed pleased at the idea (though Toph was normally the one treating; at least, when they weren't scheming to get out of paying altogether). "So. How are we leaving? Through the front doors for a change, or the usual way?"

She smirked. Getting off the bed with a jump, she bundled the dress's plentiful fabric to one side (trying not to wonder why there was so much) and tapped the heel of her foot to the marble floor. A hole appeared in the middle of the room, and she casually posed the question, "Since when was I one to take the easy way out?"

"There was that one time in the Fire Nation," Sokka recalled, but began clearing his throat when she glared in his general vicinity. "Okay, okay--never. Now lead the way, oh adventurous Toph, mistress of fun."

After making sure to seal the pathway behind her, the earthbender stomped ahead, her 'sight' a blessing in the darkened tunnel. Sokka cursed loudly as his head met a low hanging rock, and she rolled her eyes. "Do you need me to hold your hand?" she teased.

"I'm quite fine, thank you," he spat.

"Sure you are."

And in a matter of moments, they were weaving around busy townsfolk. As the two trudged down the dusty path, Sokka made sure to inform her of the many stares her 'foo-foo outfit' was receiving. She shrugged coolly. Like she cared if people were gawking!

The doors to the pub (what was it called again? "The Prancing Pony?" Maybe "Bender's Choice." Toph never bothered to remember.) were inviting, propped open by a group of guffawing men. Sokka walked past them, strides wide and full of bounce. He slipped into an open seat at the bar, leaning against the counter idly. The girl, despite her size, shoved through the crowd and claimed the empty seat next to his. "Damn it," she griped. "There's more people here than I'd thought."

"Makes it livelier. Yo, barkeep! Gimme a Flaming Lord!"

With a nod, the man grabbed a few bottles and a cup. After a quick display of mixing prowess, he slid the drink to the warrior. "And for you, little lady?"

She snorted. "Just something strong."

Sokka took a long swig of his drink. With a laugh, he exclaimed, "Man, am I glad you thought of this! You are totally, like, the best... ever!"

"Yeah, yeah." She snatched up her bottle, ignoring the small cup sitting somewhere to her right. "Just remember," she added, poking her friend playfully, "you owe next time."

He grunted in response and blathered on about how boring the party must be compared to this.

Tally up two or three more drinks (at one point, there was a race to see who could drink a bottle faster), and time found the two of them loudly discussing life. "They... they a'ways do 'at!" Toph slurred, biting her bottom lip to hold back her laughter. "But then they're all 'Noooo, we ain't doin' nothin'!'"

Sokka slouched for a moment, chortling. Suddenly: "'ey! Lookit that guy!"

Toph slapped the table noisily. "Can't see, dumbass. Lemme get m' feet grounded."

"Him! He's all buff-like. I think he's showin' off."

Sure enough, once her feet were firmly planted, she noticed a man in the corner who was shifting the floor around (a gaggle of girls giggled when he broke a stone against his chest). "Well, now," she murmured. "Thinks he's all that, eh? Sokka. I think it's time to sho'em who's the _greatest._"

The watertribe warrior let out a long, exaggerated "ooh" and followed her as she stormed up to the guy.

"Hey. Hey, you!"

All earth movements stopped. "Who, me?" There was a hint of humor in his voice. "Sorry, girlie, but I like my women a little more... _developed_."

Sokka found this highly amusing. "He's sayin' yur fla–" A rock flicked him in the forehead.

"'scuse me?" Hands on her hips, Toph leaned forward challengingly. "I'm 'fraid you're act is shitty. No way I'd ev'r want you." As an afterthought, she added, "I'd tot'ly kick your butt, anyway."

"What did you say?!"

The edges of her mouth tugged upward into a simper. "Oh, nothing... I was just sayin' that I could kick your ass, pansy."

A chant began ("Fight, fight, fight!") and she felt exhilarated. It reminded her of the earthbending tournaments from long ago. Rage was practically pouring from her opponent as he accentuated, "You. Me. _Outside_."

"Bending baaaaatle!" shouted Sokka. The whole tavern (except for those who had passed out earlier or were merely too drunk to realize what was happening) emptied onto the street. He saddled beside the girl and bent down to quietly ask: "You sure you c'n do it? 'e could get while gettin's good." There was a strong smell of liquor on his breath.

She shook her head and took her place in the middle of the rowdy crowd. "Get ready for a beatin' you won't soon forget!" she warned, taking a low stance. Her brows furrowed when she noticed her legs were sluggish. What the hell...? Without a second thought, she snatched the cloth constricting her lower half and yanked; it ripped with a cry of defiance. Tossing the unwanted dress aside (her mind took note that a cheering Sokka caught it enthusiastically), she grinned. "Much better."

The man moved first, sending an array of pillars toward her. Toph dodged expertly. Twisting her feet, she hiccupped before launching her counterattack. It pummeled him in the back, sending him into a nearby wall. "Izzat all you got?!"

Rocks flew in all directions as the man charged out, bellowing something about "death" and "women." That was more like it! She stood her ground until the last possible second, finally shifting the earth below her to the left. Her hair brushed against her face in tangled strands as he raced by. Skidding to a stop, her opponent spun on his heels and snarled.

She debated whether to be flashy and end it quickly, or to drag it out and wear him down. Of course, the latter sounded much more appealing. And so it continued: each flimsy burst he sent was evaded.

That is... until the crowd was parted by a strong gust of air.

"What are you _doing_?" Aang demanded once he'd reached his friends. She couldn't help but snigger at his meager display of anger. The emotion was such a rarity for him that it turned out to be more of an amusement than anything (though that might have been the booze talking).

"Havin' a little fun, s'all." She shrugged.

Sokka came galloping over, tripping once (why, no, that random rock jutting out was not made by Toph). He pulled Aang into a 'man' hug, as he often called it. "Aaaaang--! You here t' join in?"

"_Hey!_ Our fight's not over, girlie!"

Oh, right. She'd completely forgotten about that guy. The bullheaded man barely moved an inch before she sent the ground beneath him rocketing into the sky. A pleased grin sat on her lips as his cries faded into the distance.

There was a heavy sigh in front of her. "I had a feeling we should have kept an eye on you two."

"Aww, you're a sp… spoilstorp," Sokka complained, shaking a fist full of fabric at him.

The airbender froze. He made a few gasping noises, fingers twitching. "Th-that… Toph, you _didn't_…!"

"What're ya goin' on about now?" Crossing her arms, she narrowed her brows in annoyance.

"That dress!" he exclaimed, voice rising an octave. "It was a _lot_ of money!"

Seriously, did people forget everything about her? Cocking her head to the side, she stated, "So? I've gots tons of money."

He groaned and slouched forward slightly. "Yeah, but _I_ paid for it…."

The watertribe warrior leaned over and whispered in her ear: "You were wearing a dress?"

"I never wear dresses, idiot," she whispered in response.

Aang sighed _again_ (what the hell was he depressed about, anyway?). "I'd better take you guys back before Katara throws a fit…."

She snickered and flung a fist his way; it missed by a mile. "Man, Twinkletoes, she's got you wrapped 'round her fingers!"

"N-no she doesn't," he protested almost instantly. Toph couldn't help but laugh at his shaky defense.

"Com'on--" Her drinking buddy began poking the younger boy in the shoulder. "--if she told you to drop on all fours and act like a platypus-bear, you would so do't!"

He stomped a foot (which she vaguely wondered if it was an earthbender habit, or more of a girly trait) and insisted: "I don't _always_ listen to her!"

"Sure, sure." Toph rolled her eyes. She'd heard that story way too many times. Grinning, she muttered, "How about you prove it? Come have a drink--my treat." Aang sputtered, clearly uncertain, as she shoved him into the bar.

An arm slid over her slim shoulders. "So… how's about a few more drinks for _all _of us?" Sokka's words tickled against her neck.

"Only if you keep your smelly face away from me."

"Done and done!"

_Later…._

"K'taraaa!"

An extremely drunk Aang flung himself at the waterbender, burying his face in her (most likely) expensive kimono. He mumbled something incoherent; Toph noted that Katara's heart began racing. It was silent as the scene settled in, the unnerving kind of silence that could drive a person mad. Then, Katara screamed:

"Toph! Sokka! What the hell--"

"Hey. Hey, hey, heeeey," Sokka interjected. He swayed once before taking a step forward. "S'all right. We… we're a-okay!"

"Ya," Toph agreed. Her words slurred as she added, "B'sides, Aang on'y had a drink 'r twoo!" A nudge to her right. "Oooooh, right. Guess what! We gots youuz guys a weddin' gift!" And with that, she produced a few bottles from a pouch at her hip (where did she get that…?). "See?"

In mere moments, the dynamic duo was stumbling down the stairs as they tried to dodge a flurry of icicles. Why was she so upset? Toph just couldn't wrap her drunk mind around the fact that she was _angry_ at _them._ After all, it wasn't like they'd ruined everything.

The cake was perfectly fine.


End file.
